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Welcome back to Build a Better You! Each week, I share insights from my coaching journey to help you lead with clarity, resilience, and confidence. This week, I’m reflecting on something deeply personal—grief and loss. Today is my mother’s birthday. She passed away at 39, and even now, 39 years later, the weight of her absence still affects me profoundly. If you’ve ever experienced loss, you know that grief doesn’t just disappear—it evolves, and we learn to carry it. This Week’s Focus: Grief Never Fully Leaves Us: Why It’s OK That You’re Not OK Losing my mother at such a young age changed me forever. Every year, on her birthday, the pain resurfaces. I find myself wondering who she would be today, what conversations we would have, and how life might have been different if she were still here. Grief doesn’t follow a straight path, and despite the years, it still catches me off guard. Megan Devine’s book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, highlights a truth we often resist—grief isn’t something to “get over.” It’s something we learn to live with. The world tells us to move on, but the reality is, the people we lose remain part of us forever. How to Cope with Long-Term Grief: Takeaway: Grief is a lifelong journey. Instead of trying to move past it, find ways to carry it with grace and self-compassion. Mastering Emotional Regulation: Tools to Navigate Life’s Challenges Emotions, especially difficult ones, can feel overwhelming. Emotional regulation is the ability to manage our feelings in a healthy and constructive way. Without it, we may suppress emotions until they explode, or let them control our actions. According to Simply Psychology, emotional regulation is a skill that can be strengthened over time. Ways to Improve Emotional Regulation: Takeaway: Learning to regulate emotions doesn’t mean ignoring them—it means acknowledging, processing, and responding to them in a way that aligns with your values and goals. Conscious Leadership: The Mindset That Inspires and Creates Impact Leadership isn’t just about hitting targets—it’s about fostering an environment where people feel valued, motivated, and aligned with a shared vision. Leaders like Satya Nadella and John Mackey embody conscious leadership, where success isn’t just measured in revenue, but in impact. Key Traits of Conscious Leaders: Takeaway: Leadership is about more than short-term wins. The most effective leaders cultivate self-awareness, purpose, and emotional intelligence to create lasting success. Coaching and Leadership: How Mentorship Shapes Success A great leader is also a great coach. Leaders who invest in coaching—whether for themselves or their teams—see greater engagement, improved performance, and higher emotional intelligence in their organizations. In my book, The Executive Coach: Strategies for Success in Leadership (available here), I dive into proven strategies for elevating leadership through coaching. How Coaching Strengthens Leadership: Takeaway: Coaching isn’t just for executives—it’s a tool for anyone who wants to level up their leadership skills and personal growth. Reflection Corner: Questions for the Week Final Thoughts: Grief, resilience, and leadership are deeply connected. The ability to acknowledge our emotions, process them, and use them to grow is what makes us stronger—not just as individuals, but as leaders. Let’s continue building a better version of ourselves, together. Wishing you a week of self-compassion, clarity, and growth. Warm regards,Terence H. Clarke

Building a Better You – This Week’s Newsletter Each week, I share insights from my coaching journey to help you lead with clarity, resilience, and confidence. This week, let’s talk about something that affects all of us: how to switch off our minds. In a world that never stops, learning to truly relax isn’t just beneficial—it’s essential.   This Week’s Focus: How to Switch Off Your Mind and Truly RestFinding Your Career Values: Aligning Work with PurposeRecognizing Burnout Before It Takes OverLeading with Cultural Intelligence in a Global Workplace   How to Switch Off Your Mind and Truly Rest Have you ever found yourself lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, your mind racing with thoughts about tomorrow, yesterday, or everything in between? You’re not alone. In today’s fast-paced world, switching off our minds can feel impossible. But here’s the truth: relaxation isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. How to Quiet the Noise: Create a Wind-Down Routine – An hour before bed, dim the lights, put away your phone, and do something calming—read a book, listen to soothing music, or practice gentle stretches.Try the 4-7-8 Breathing Technique – Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. This calms your nervous system and refocuses your mind.Write it Down – Keep a journal by your bed. Spend 5 minutes jotting down thoughts, worries, or to-do lists to clear mental clutter.Optimize Your Sleep Environment – Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet. Use a white noise machine or earplugs if needed.Practice Relaxation Techniques – Try guided sleep meditations or body scan exercises to shift your focus away from racing thoughts. Takeaway: Sleep isn’t just about resting your body—it’s about resetting your mind. Prioritizing relaxation will help you show up as your best self every day. How to switch off your mind   Finding Your Career Values: Aligning Work with Purpose Do you feel fulfilled in your career, or are you simply going through the motions? Understanding your career values is key to long-term success and satisfaction. How to Identify Your Career Values: Reflect on Past Experiences – When did you feel most engaged and motivated at work? What was present in those moments?Identify Core Drivers – Is it growth, impact, creativity, stability, autonomy, or something else?Assess Your Current Role – Does your job align with your values? If not, what small shifts can you make?Use Your Values as a Compass – When making career decisions, ask yourself: does this align with what truly matters to me? Takeaway: Work feels meaningful when it aligns with your values. Take time to define yours and use them to guide your career choices. Get My 5 Part Career Values Workbook Here   Recognizing Burnout Before It Takes Over Burnout doesn’t happen overnight—it’s a slow buildup of stress, exhaustion, and disconnection. Recognizing the signs early can help you take action before it impacts your well-being. Signs of Burnout: Chronic fatigue and lack of motivationIncreased irritability or cynicism about workFeeling detached or disengagedPhysical symptoms like headaches or digestive issues How to Prevent Burnout: Set Boundaries – Protect your personal time and avoid overcommitting.Prioritize Recovery – Make time for hobbies, exercise, and social connections.Ask for Help – Talk to a mentor, coach, or therapist if you’re feeling overwhelmed.Reevaluate Your Workload – Can anything be delegated, delayed, or simplified? Takeaway: Burnout isn’t a badge of honor. Recognize the signs early, prioritize recovery, and create sustainable work habits.   Leading with Cultural Intelligence in a Global Workplace In today’s interconnected world, cultural intelligence (CQ) is a must-have leadership skill. Understanding different cultural perspectives helps you communicate effectively, build trust, and drive collaboration. Ways to Develop Cultural Intelligence: Cultivate Curiosity – Ask questions, listen actively, and seek to understand different viewpoints.Adapt Communication Styles – Be mindful of direct vs. indirect communication preferences across cultures.Build Inclusive Teams – Recognize and leverage diverse perspectives for innovation and problem-solving.Be Self-Aware – Understand your own cultural biases and how they shape your interactions. Takeaway: High-CQ leaders foster stronger teams, better relationships, and greater global impact. Invest in cultural intelligence to lead effectively across borders. Read more here   Reflection Corner: Questions for the Week How can I create a better wind-down routine to improve my sleep and relaxation?Does my current work align with my career values, or is it time for a shift?What early signs of burnout am I experiencing, and how can I address them?How can I improve my cultural intelligence to lead more effectively?   Want to Level Up? If you’re ready to take your leadership, resilience, and mindset to the next level, check out my latest book—designed to help you take action with clarity and confidence. 👉 Click Here to Get Your Copy Wishing you a week of rest, clarity, and alignment. Remember, the best version of you starts with taking care of yourself first. Warm regards,Terence Notice: JavaScript is required for this content.

Hey guys today I want to delve into the topic of goals and motivation—specifically, the distinction between “have-to” goals and “want-to” goals, and how they relate to extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. Imagine waking up in the morning with a list of tasks that you feel you “have to” complete. These have-to goals are typically driven by external factors such as societal expectations, obligations, or external rewards, like a promotion or a salary increase. While these goals may seem necessary, they often lack personal fulfillment and can drain our motivation. In contrast, want-to goals are driven by our internal desires, passions, and personal values. These goals align with our authentic selves and bring a sense of joy, purpose, and intrinsic motivation. Want-to goals are often rooted in our deepest aspirations, such as pursuing a hobby, learning a new skill, or making a positive impact in the world. Now, you might be wondering, are want-to goals truly easier to achieve? Well, research suggests that individuals who pursue want-to goals tend to experience higher levels of motivation and well-being, leading to greater success in goal attainment. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people who pursued self-concordant goals—goals that align with their personal values and interests—were more likely to make progress and achieve their objectives. The reason want-to goals are easier to achieve lies in the power of intrinsic motivation. When we engage in activities that genuinely interest us, we are more likely to experience a state of flow—a state of complete absorption and enjoyment in what we are doing. This flow state enhances our focus, creativity, and persistence, making the journey towards our goals more enjoyable and manageable. Now, let’s talk about coaching. Working with a coach can be immensely beneficial in the pursuit of both have-to and want-to goals. A coach provides guidance, support, and accountability, helping individuals clarify their goals, develop action plans, and overcome obstacles along the way. Numerous studies have shown the positive impact of coaching on goal achievement and personal growth. Coaches help individuals gain clarity about their values, strengths, and aspirations, enabling them to set meaningful goals that align with their authentic selves. Additionally, coaches assist in breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps, providing a roadmap to success. They offer encouragement, celebrate progress, and hold individuals accountable, fostering a sense of commitment and motivation. So, whether your goals are have-to or want-to, working with a coach can be a transformative experience that maximizes your potential and accelerates your progress. To sum it all up want-to goals, driven by intrinsic motivation, are often easier to achieve and lead to greater fulfillment and well-being. While have-to goals may be necessary at times, it is crucial to prioritize want-to goals that align with our passions and values. And if you’re looking to enhance your goal attainment and personal growth, working with a coach can provide invaluable support on your journey. Thanks for watching, If you’d like to work together, please use the contact form below, and we can explore how coaching can benefit you personally.

As we grow and evolve in our personal and professional lives, it’s crucial to continue learning and developing ourselves. This is especially true for those in the coaching industry, where keeping up with the latest techniques and trends can make all the difference in providing effective support to clients. Yesterday, I had the privilege of completing a 6-month, 125 Hours ACSTH coaching training program, a significant milestone in my coaching journey. I trained with the wonderful Luba Diasamidze with Istok Coaching