Terence H Clarke

psychological safety

It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Do you ever feel like you have to suffer in silence? Growing up in Ireland and the UK, many of us hear about keeping a “stiff upper lip.” This means not talking about our feelings and just pushing through tough times. But let’s be honest: that approach doesn’t really work. 1. Start with a Strong Foundation Your foundation is your belief system. What do you believe about yourself? If you think you can achieve great things, you’re more likely to try. Here are some tips to strengthen your beliefs: 2. Build Your Walls with Knowledge Knowledge is like the walls of your house. It keeps you safe and secure. Here’s how to gather knowledge about mental health: 3. Add a Roof with Resilience Resilience protects your mindset from challenges, just like a roof protects a house from rain. Here’s how to develop resilience: 4. Decorate Your Mindset Just like decorating a house makes it feel like home, adding joy and fun to your life makes your mindset stronger: 5. Maintain Your House Just as houses need maintenance, your mindset needs care too: You’re Not Alone Remember, it’s okay to not be okay. Everyone has ups and downs, and reaching out for help is perfectly fine. You don’t have to go through tough times alone. If you want more tips on building a successful mindset and taking care of your emotional well-being, sign up for my weekly newsletter Building A Better You Join my community and start your journey today!

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The Paradox of Connection: AI and the Loneliness Epidemic

The Paradox of Connection: AI and the Loneliness Epidemic AI is everywhere and as we all start to use it on a daily basis, I came across an interesting article recently “Could AI help cure ‘downward spiral’ of human loneliness? One computer scientist says we should embrace human-machine relationships, but other experts are more cautious” I’d like to share my thoughts (link to original article below) We’re all super-connected nowadays, it’s ironic that loneliness is on the rise, especially in big cities. Despite being able to reach out to anyone at any time, people are feeling more isolated than ever. This is something I see all the time in my coaching practice. Many of my clients, who live in bustling urban areas, often talk about their profound sense of loneliness. The Loneliness Epidemic Loneliness isn’t just a fleeting feeling; it’s a serious issue that affects a significant portion of the population. A Harvard study revealed that over a third of Americans are dealing with “serious loneliness,” with young adults and mothers with small children being the hardest hit. In the UK, nearly four million people report chronic loneliness. The consequences are dire, linking loneliness to higher risks of heart disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and even premature death. The U.S. Surgeon General has compared the health impact of loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. This makes it clear that addressing loneliness is not just important; it’s urgent. Can AI Help? Enter artificial intelligence (AI). Tony Prescott, a Professor of Cognitive Robotics at the University of Sheffield, believes AI could be a game-changer in fighting loneliness. He suggests that people could form meaningful bonds with AI, similar to how they connect with pets or how kids bond with dolls. AI, he argues, can offer personalized, reciprocal social interaction that can help people practice social skills and build self-confidence. This could prevent the vicious cycle where loneliness leads to lower self-esteem and further isolation. Concerns and Criticisms Not everyone is on board with this idea. Sherry Turkle, a Professor of Social Science at MIT, warns that relationships with machines might actually reduce meaningful human connections. Christina Victor, a Professor at Brunel University, questions whether AI can really tackle loneliness, pointing out that human relationships are built on reciprocity, which AI might lack. Murali Doraiswamy, a Professor of Psychiatry at Duke University, emphasizes that a close human friend is still the best cure for loneliness. He stresses the need for ethical AI usage, ensuring privacy and trust. Balancing Benefits and Risks Prescott acknowledges these concerns but encourages us to consider the potential benefits. He notes that not all relationships need to be symmetrical to be valuable, and AI could offer significant support to those without close human connections. With technological advances, AI chatbots are becoming more adept at understanding and responding to human emotions, which could help mitigate feelings of loneliness. Practical Tips to Overcome Loneliness In my coaching practice, I see the impact of loneliness every day. While AI offers an intriguing potential solution, it’s crucial to balance its use with real human connections. As we navigate the complexities of loneliness in this digital age, leveraging technology thoughtfully, combined with fostering genuine human interactions, can help create a more connected and compassionate society. For more insights on this topic, you can check out the full article here Notice: JavaScript is required for this content.

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Elevating Emotional Intelligence, 5 Tips to Develop EQ:

1. Reflect on Your Emotions: Take time each day to consider your feelings and reactions to events. This self-awareness is the cornerstone of EQ. 2. Seek Other Perspectives: Engage in conversations and ask for feedback. Understanding how others perceive situations can broaden your emotional understanding. 3. Observe and Manage Your Reactions: Notice how you respond emotionally to stress or conflict. Use techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness to maintain composure. 4. Practice Empathy: Try to see things from others’ points of view. Empathy strengthens your connections and enhances social skills. 5. Continuous Learning: EQ isn’t static; it grows with experience. Embrace new challenges as opportunities to enhance your EQ. Emotional intelligence (EQ) is more than a buzzword—it’s a vital skill for personal and professional growth. I’ve been exploring developing EQ with coaching clients and wanted to share five transformative tips to boost your EQ: 1. Introspection: Daily reflection on our emotions can lead to profound self-awareness, the bedrock of EQ. 2. Diverse Perspectives: Actively seeking feedback and different viewpoints enriches our emotional understanding. 3. Emotional Agility: Observing our emotional responses and managing them effectively is key to maintaining balance. 4. Empathetic Connection: Practicing empathy not only strengthens relationships but also hones our social skills. 5. Lifelong EQ Journey: Remember, EQ development is a continuous journey, enriched by every new experience. Practice to navigate life’s challenges with positivity and resilience. I’d love to hear some tips from fellow coaches.! Notice: JavaScript is required for this content.

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The Transformational Power of Listening

As a coach working one-on-one with business leaders, I’ve seen firsthand how profoundly listening can impact personal and professional growth. As Marion Franklin says in her book The Heart of Laser Focused Coaching, “a masterful coach learns to listen in a deeper way”. Listening authentically with empathy is key. It means making eye contact, restating what’s said to check understanding, asking open questions to draw more out, being aware of non-verbals, and periodically summarizing discussions. For leaders, having someone who invests fully in comprehending their perspective can itself be transformative. It encourages vulnerability and builds self-awareness from a place of care, not criticism. The benefits of this approach are clear. Leaders gain crucial insights, feel heard and motivated from within. Coaches obtain context to have wise, tailored discussions. And together, they can navigate challenges in a learning spirit. The Art of Active Listening: A Coach’s Most Valuable Skill What is Active Listening? Active listening is a communication technique that requires full attention and understanding between parties. Unlike passive listening where the focus is internal thought rather than the speaker, active listening involves fully concentrating on what is being said while offering periodic verbal and non-verbal feedback cues. Some key components of active listening include maintaining eye contact, reflecting back what was heard using paraphrasing, asking open-ended questions to draw out more details, noting body language and emotion, and summarizing discussions periodically. The goal is to make the other person feel truly listened to and understood rather than just waiting for your turn to speak. For coaches, active listening goes a step further by adding an empathetic lens. Coaches identify with a leader’s perspective and circumstance while maintaining objective neutrality. This allows for tactful follow up that builds self-awareness instead of providing pat answers. Examples From My Career Early in my coaching career, clients were not truly opening up or developing insight on their own. A key turning point occurred when I shifted to listening without judgment during our sessions. One client, a CEO struggling with an underperforming division, spent our first meeting venting frustrations without solutions. Rather than jumping in, I asked clarifying questions and offered reflection on what was shared. Over subsequent visits, through this supportive listening, the CEO discovered the real issues were a lack of stakeholder buy-in and misalignment on vision – realizations that led to successful course correction. In another instance, an executive unwilling to accept negative feedback gradually revealed personal insecurities preventing growth. Listening without an agenda gave space to build self-awareness that empowered major leadership improvements recognized throughout the organization. Another executive was hesitant to acknowledge weaknesses but listening attentively allowed uncomfortable truths to surface over time. Without an agenda to push, they found the self-knowledge and courage needed to strengthen their leadership. These experiences taught me that the most impactful coaching comes from providing a safe space for reflection, not advice-giving. These examples show how focusing first on understanding through active listening creates an environment where clients can develop solutions on their own, leading to sustainable change managed internally rather than imposed externally. Benefits of Active Listening for Leaders Active listening confers several benefits for any executive seeking to enhance their leadership abilities through professional coaching: The Heart of Coaching As these insights show, active listening should be considered the cornerstone capability for any coach seeking to facilitate impactful growth. While technical knowledge and experience provide useful context, transformation ultimately happens internally through understanding and reflection and not externally through declarations. Coaching is as much about providing a supportive space as it is offering perspectives. And the most impactful space is created through compassionate, non-judgmental and invested listening designed to draw out awareness versus insert assessment. For leaders navigating complex challenges, having someone who invests in completely comprehending their truth can be tremendously empowering. Going forward, I believe any coach hoping to cultivate real change would be wise to lead with their ability to listen with empathy, patience and full presence of mind. It is an often subtle but profoundly powerful technique for Igniting self-driven progress aligned with an individual’s authentic needs, strengths and goals, actively listening lies at the heart of my own philosophy and approach as an executive coach. Notice: JavaScript is required for this content.

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The Importance of Psychological Safety in Coaching

As a coach, one of the most important aspects of my role is creating an environment where clients and workshop participants feel comfortable sharing ideas, asking questions, and challenging assumptions without fear of negative consequences. This state of being able to take interpersonal risks without fear of embarrassment, rejection or retribution is known as psychological safety.

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